Hello 2010, goodbye 2009

Farewell 2009, welcome 2010! Yes that's what all people are talking about right now. New year resolution? Nope, haven't thought about it yet. But there are few in my mind for sure.

A lot have been on and off during the year of 2009, a life with bitter sweet that I will reminisce for sure.

Let see what I've achieved this year...
1) Continue my study( YAY! finally)
2) Quit my Job (which fits perfectly with my 2 years working plan)
3) Get myself a scholarship (Yes! I got them, not long ago)
4) Earn more money (I'm getting there)
5) Get myself fit

Updating

I guess a week off from lab work make me a little haywired. Was thinking of what to do this morning when i realize my work still have a long way to go. Besides, just received an email form CGS this morning requesting progressive report and registration which will due on the 15th January 2010.

Christmas was fine, celebrated among close families and friends. This year however, ma and pa decided to have it in Kuching. Fair enough I thought, it has been ages since we had it in Kuching.

Kev's back for his Xmas and new year holiday as well, had a long banter with him the other day. I guess the only thing we didn't really do this year is shopping. Well, I had mine earlier but I can see that he's trying to save some cash for his baby v for some maintenance, which is understandable.

Attended Mel's engagement ceremony last Saturday which falls on the 26th of Dec. She and Ricardo finally tied the knot after years of relationship, congrats guys!

It's 3 days before 2009 ends, glad that I've fulfilled almost all of my resolution. Although there are still a tiny weeny things that I haven't done yet. What the heck, carry it forward next year then..LOL!

The heart speaks

Echo in the head?(No, i'm not crazy...yet.) whispers in the heart? My intuition is telling me something is going on, or it's just me.

Mixed emotion and insecure. That is what I feel right now. I've been receiving cold reaction lately. Is it because what I did? Or is it because I don't belong to where I am right now? I know something fishy is going on, but frankly I am no gypsy to predict or decipher things with tarot card or glowing crystal ball.

Speak out if you do not like me, or despise me. Because I like people who can truly voice out their side of view, and not keeping it in the closet. Hit me with the bad news if you have to, because there's nothing in this world I can't face.

Faith is the only thing that holds me right now. And hoping that tomorrow will be better than today and the day before, because underneath it all, I believe karma will take its toll.

Lying is good? Not always...

Lying sometimes can be good, as long as people don't know that you are lying. But you must be smart enough to lie, or otherwise things won't turn out just like what you wanted.

I've known someone who is clever enough to lie, but not SMART ENOUGH to LIE to ME. Yes, you read it right. I am like a detector, almost...accept that I do not have all those high tech gadget inside of me. But I always stay ahead of people who wants to do hanky-panky stuff. Because I do not want to be another victim stuck in a stupid situation.

Why am I whining about all this? Truth to be told, I can be kind-hearted at times, but an Angel on my right shoulder does not always win in a situation like this, so I became a very bad person (not bad as in kill people and stuff, just bad bad...). And when that happened, I tend to think and make a bad remark on other people, especially when he/she overdo IT.

All the best to my buddy who lied to me, and to bunch of other friends. Just don't get me caught you red handed for the second time, or otherwise you are going to be DEAD MEAT!


P/S: Kevin, please come back ASAP, I have a platter of HOT STUFF to SPILL OUT.

Updating

The PCR is running and there are few experiments left, which is yet to be done. So I thought of dropping by to write something out.

Yes it's November and my day is no better than yesterday...or the day before. But I am glad that everything is going my way, although there were times where I needed time to reflect myself. Last week Kev came for a few days visit. Had a brief banter with him at Starbuck and update him with "what's hot and what's not" in the clan. Owh by the way, I can see that he loss few pounds (Clap! clap! clap!) which is a good news for him.

Sadly he couldn't make it to Halloween Party which is much of a turn off for Loid (He should be going back to Bunuk but have to cancel it because he thought that Kev would join us). The party went well, though it was not as happening as last year's Halloween. What's next? Aida's Bday is coming up so there's at least an event to celebrate this month! Lady Diana is coming down to Kuching at the end of the month so that's another event to anticipate.

Went for a movie with Jess and Gal last night; "Jennifer's Body", the movie was not bad, but the ending was not up to my expectation. I was half expecting Megan and Amanda had a kickass fight, instead it ended up with some lame killing action while levitating on the air.

Mom

Mom don't seem to have a good day yesterday. She was pretty angry with dad over some conversation they had on the phone. It was not an adult kind of fight, just a kiddo fight kind of. And I don't understand why mom make a big deal out of it.

The situation goes like this:

Dad was on his way to work (outstation) when mom called him, asking why he did not call her the day before. Dad had a hard time listening to what mom said because of bad connection. So dad have to shout instead of talking, which gets mom up to her nerve. After a few while, dad called back and explained the situation, but mom wouldn't listen.

I admit that men can be pretty ignorance at times, unlike women who is more sensitive. Mom nagged about the issue to me and lil' sis the whole morning. Instead of giving her some advice, lil sis encourage her to do the same on dad. Me on the other hand, dare not to talk about it, because I believe they are old enough to handle the situation.

Last night lil sis and me had some discussion about the matter, and she told me that perhaps mom is having her menopause. I couldn't agree much on her on that, because mom have been in a terrible mood swing for the last few months. And belive me, you don't want to get near her when she starts to nag about something.

2 Months in The Highlight

Been a while since my last update. The last time was on August, I guess and that was 2 months ago. Nothing much really happened, life is getting along as usual.

By the way, had a visit to friends house last raya. It was so-so I must say, but I really enjoy the companionship as well as the food. Thank you so much guys!

Dad is going to have a week traveling beginning tomorrow. So I'm going to be very busy fetching lil sis from school next week. Fortunately, I have pretty ample time these days so there would be no problem at all. Mom on the other hand, is pretty much occupied with her "desperate housewife" business around the neighborhood. There is not a single day without her "hot stories" so I would say that's pretty normal right?

Big Sis says lil Amanda is getting bigger, how i miss her so much. I was told he could baby talk which is so damn cute! Just this afternoon big sis and bro in law got her a new gown for their church anniversary.

My work...so far so good. Bella text me this morning and told me that my cloning and transformation works. What I'm going to do now is to extract and identify the gene. Frankly, I've never done this far because I failed cloning part when I was doing my undergraduate project. So what's next? Finish up the other 2 genes which is yet to be clone...

Love life and special relationship? I'm far from looking around at the moment, and am pretty much enjoy being single. 4 months, which is more than enough time for me to look into my inner-self. I do miss K sometimes, but I know I'm not alone, there are friends and family around me, and yes...I love them so much!

Something I get from Cel and Mel

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jerry!

1. Ostriches stick their heads in Jerry not to hide but to look for water!
2. Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat Jerry'!
3. Jerry kept at the window will keep vampires at bay.
4. A lump of Jerry the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court.
5. Jerry is actually a mammal, not a fish.
6. You share your birthday with Jerry!
7. If you kiss Jerry for one minute you will burn six or seven calories.
8. Jerry is the world's tallest woman.
9. The average duration of sexual intercourse for Jerry is two minutes.
10. Jerry has enough fat to produce 32 bars of soap!

Url: http://thesurrealist.co.uk

15 minutes

I guess I can sort of write something out in this 15 minutes. Well, life been pretty much so-so lately, though at time I feel that there is always a room for a change, for a certain things of course. I missed someone i used to love, but that was history, taking a step forward and not looking back is what people always told me. But I'm not a forgiver, and therefore I don't forget people easily. sorry but that has always in my gene, I forgive but not easily forget.

This is what happened when you get yourself drunk

The clan and I were having a blast last Friday night (31st July), and guess what happened when you fill in 2 bottles of Vodka into your system?

Answer: A drunk guy sms-ing his ex saying "I hate you! I hate you so much!".

To be frank, I did not even realize I was texting anyone that night. All I know was I came back around 2, went for a bath and head straight to the bed and sleep. When I woke up the next morning and browsing through "sent" items, the above text came out, damn!

Big sis came for a 2 months visit with little Amanda since June. It is always nice to welcome new members in the family. How I missed Amanda so much. Bro-in-law came last week to accompany them (Big sis and little Amanda) back to Bintulu.

Cute little Manda

My family is having sore throat, but none of them were having flu-like symptom, so that's a good news. I had mine last week but luckily I took an early precaution by taking some lozenge.

By the way, some of you might wonder why is this post entitled 15 minutes. Well, it's 15 minutes before 9pm and I've got nothing to do, so I thought of dropping for a while before I actually do my assignments.

Lacking of post

Sorry about the lacking of post guys, been away lately to settle some unfinished business and coping up with some emotional aftermath. Anyway, I' m getting sick of my background and layout, I'm going to spice it up a bit, hopefully by this week *fingers crossed*.

Spring cleaning

Sorting out clothes that I have been collected for the past 6 years is probably the most tedious job I have ever done in my room. It took me 3 hours just to do it. Flashes of the past memories vividly came to me as I was browsing through the clothes one by one. There were clothes that I used to wear during my diploma commemoration dinner, the one I wore during my final year dinner, St. John Ambulance uniform, not to forget the company uniform and other clothes of all sort that was still neatly hang.

I must admit those days that I use to spent a lot on my attire. There are some shirts that were bought which I only wear on certain occasion and never been touch ever since. And there were also shirts which I think their sizes are too large or too small for me. Some clothes however, are still in good condition and “wearable”. So I decided to wash (due to unpleasant odor because it was kept in the closet for so long) and keep some of them for a reason that I would not buy any clothes (at the moment) because of economic recession, how ironic is that? And hopefully I would wear them, after all the washing and ironing fuss.

Each of the clothes was separated into 3 categories;
1. Clothes I will most likely going to wear
2. Clothes for donation and
3. Clothes that is out of trend waiting to be dump

After spending 3 hours of sorting, I found out that there were more clothes that should be out of the closet than that of the one I occasionally use. So you see, I am a bit sentimental in terms of collecting item. There was once I used to complaint about my habit to a friend and she came out with no solution. She even told me that I might have OCD and should seek help from a professional. Well, I thought it would be nice if I had extra income and if there is an OCD expert in Kuching.

By the way, after the closet, I might going to throw away some of the books and notes that were kept since I was in form 5.

Life, Love, family and relationship

Rasanya sudah lama aku tidak menyentuh laman blog ku ini. Kali terakhir aku mencoret cebisan hatiku adalah lebih daripada sebulan yang lalu. Aku terlalu sibuk sejak beberapa ketika ini. Sibuk dengan kerja, kehidupan, perhubungan dan juga keluarga. Lantas, dalam kesibukan aku mengejar masa untuk memenuhi kesemua yang aku katakan tadi, pelbagai liku-liku kehidupan yang aku tempuhi, ada berita sedih, ada juga berita gembira. Tetapi yang pasti, aku tetap bersyukur kerana aku masih bernafas, dapat meneruskan kehidupanku seperti biasa, dan juga mengejar cita-citaku yang telah lama aku impikan selama ini.

Gawai yang lepas disambut seperti biasa saja, tidak terlalu meriah dan tidak juga terlalu bosan. Kunjungan kami sekeluarga cuma dikalangan orang-orang terdekat dan juga jiran-jiran di kampung. Seperti biasa hari pertama dan kedua, kebanyakan masa dihabiskan untuk minum-minum sampai mabuk, aku juga tidak terkecuali. Disaat gawai disambut, keluargaku juga dikhabarkan dengan berita gembira yang mana kakakku telah selamat melahirkan bayi perempuan yang diberi nama Amanda Elsy. Baru berusia beberapa minggu, dengan berat hampir 3 kilo, Amanda mempunyai rambut yang lebat dan juga aktif bergerak. Nampaknya hajat kakak untuk gawai bersama tahun ini tidak kesampaian kerana dia terpaksa menghabiskan masa pantangnya di Bintulu.

Selang beberapa hari selepas gawai disambut, kami sekeluarga dijemput untuk menghadiri majlis perkahwinan saudaraku di Sri Aman. Dalam perkiraan aku, dialah saudara perempuan terakhir yang sama “batch” dengan usiaku yang melangsungkan perkahwinan untuk dekad ini. Rasanya untuk menunggu saudara perempuanku yang lain masih ada lebih 5-8 tahun lagi kerana kesemuanya masih lagi bersekolah. Amat menakjubkan dimana kesemua saudara-mara tidak kira dekat ataupun yang jauh dijemput untuk memeriahkan suasana pada malam itu. Bukan apa, majlis berlangsung di restoran, jadi panorama sebegitu jarang aku alami, apatah lagi apabila kesemua saudara sebelah mak yang datang tidak kiralah dari Malaya ataupun dari utara Sarawak. Ada yang aku kenal, ada juga yang aku tidak kenal dan langsung berkenalan pada malam itu.

Perhubunganku dengan rakanku kini kurasakan semakin renggang. Tetapi yang pasti aku merindui seseorang… Michelle, rakan yang aku kenal semasa di Kapit. Aku merindui dia kerana aku berasa seronok sekali bila menghabiskan makan malam dengannya dan menempah “sotong goreng butter” dan juga “babi hutan masak halia”…yum..yum…tidak lupa juga “daging rusa masak kicap”. Hanya di Kapit sahaja makanan eksotik sebegitu dihidangkan dengan harga yang jauh lebih murah dan berpatutan berbanding Kuching. Cel, kalo ko makan makanan eksotik yang aku sebutkan tadi nyagkong k (meleleh dah air liur ni…slurrrp!).

Aku tidak tahu-menahu tentang khabar dari rakan-rakanku yang lain sejak kebelakangan ini. Kali terakhir aku dengar khabar dari rakan baikku adalah seminggu sebelum gawai. Itupun berjumpa sekadar untuk memenuhi permintaan untuk “berjumpa” sahaja. Belum hangat lagi kerusi yang aku duduk terus dia meminta diri. Kelakuannya juga pelik sejak kebelakangan ini, aku tidak berani komen, hanya aku merasakan jarak kami berdua sekarang amat jauh. Cuma aku berharap dia tidak lupakan kawannya yang lain, itu sahaja.

Pehubungan peribadiku pula tidak jauh berbeza. Sampai sekarang aku masih tertanya-tanya dimana silapku. Tetapi semua yang terjadi serba sedikit mengajarku erti waspada di harimuka. Aku redha dengan segala yang berlaku, tetapi aku tidak akan putus untuk merenung keatas dan meminta petunjuk dariNya.

Kerjaku pula semakin mencabar dari hari ke hari. Baru sahaja kelmarin integriti perkerjaanku dipersoalkan oleh rakan sejawat. Aku serba sedikit terkejut, tetapi mengambil iktibar daripada komennya yang mengatakan bahawa kerjaku “behind schedule”. Cuma satu yang ingin aku perkatakan disini, aku tidak bekerja dengan memakan gaji buta. Dan tidak bekerja setakat untuk “menghabiskan” kerja tanpa menghiraukan kepuasan pelanggan. Aku hairan, dan tertanya-tanya sekiranya senario bekerja di tempat kerjaku kini hanya untuk “menghabiskan” kerja sahaja? Bagaimana pula dengan masalah pelanggan yang datang? Adakah itu diambil kira? Aku rasa tidak, sebab itulah mereka mempersoalkan jadualku kerana banyak menghabiskan masa untuk melayan masalah pelanggan. Kalau ikutkan perasaan aku ingin sekali “menembak” balik rakanku itu, tetapi aku kawal perasaanku. Baiklah, jika sekiranya mereka merasakan kerjaku “behind schedule”, tengoklah nanti aku pecut macam “bullet train’ sampai juling mata pelangganku.

Cuma aku berharap lain kali dia jangan “keypo” sangat nak komen-komen tentang kerja orang lain, cermin muka tu dulu! Kalau ikutkan dari segi akademik, aku dengan dia tidak setaraf langsung. Aku lebih bijak mengatur strategi untuk meng”improve”kan kepuasan pelanggan sedangkan dia hanya tahu untuk memakan gaji buta sahaja, jadi jadualku mungkin berbeza daripada yang lain.

Kehidupanku pula kurasakan semakin membaik dari hari ke hari. Cuma sekarang aku jarang berkunjung ke rumah Tuhan. Aku tahu “sibuk” bukanlah satu alasan yang baik. Mungkin Ahad ini aku luangkan masa dan pergi menunaikan hajatku. Keadaanku pula...semakin gemuk semenjak gawai, mungkin selepas ini aku patut “exercise” sedikit untuk menbuang lemak berlebihan.

Updating

Earlier this week I received news telling me that one of my staff have just passed away. I just know a little about him because I am only attached to my station for almost 5 months now. As far as I am concern, he has been struggling with his illness for quite sometime. Even when I first came here, he just had his operation at the general hospital.

This week, I have been busy settling matters regarding his bereavement. Apart form my own work, I have to put aside my personal matters, which I should have been settle earlier this week. But I understood the priority here is to clear up all the matters on my late staff because his next of kin would be asking for his claims later.

Had my dinner with Cel last few days at our usual place, and ask her some words of wisdom. Had a good chat with her that night, and sent her stuff to her new place after we finished our dishes. She said she will have an induction in Kuching for the whole month until June. I am so envious...

Heard that we are going to have our next computation course next June but I do not know the exact date yet, that is if I am still around. But I’ve determine that any decision on what I have made earlier, I have to do it by this week. I can’t wait no longer because I had a restless sleep just to think about it. Moreover, I am already tired of thinking about the matter and I just want to finish it as soon as possible.

Lil’ sis called me up this morning; she told me that she got herself on the candidate list for form 6 students, but has yet to check on it at her school. Hopefully she will make it through because I am eager to see her continuing her study, if not to the higher learning institute, at least to form 6.

Called big sis yesterday to ask her condition; she have been coping up well with the baby in her belly. She told me that the baby constantly kicking and moving around (inside her belly of course). I was told that she will due sometime this June, can’t wait to have my first “anak buah”…hehe…



P/s: Tired of this life...

Laskar Pelangi

The lyric...are just so meaningful to me.


Laskar pelangi

Mimpi adalah kunci, untuk kita menaklukkan dunia
Berlarilah, tanpa lelah sampai engkau meraihnya
Laskar pelangi, takkan terikat waktu
Bebaskan mimpimu di angkasa
Warnai bintang di jiwa

Menarilah dan terus tertawa
Walau dunia tak seindah syurga
Bersyukurlah pada yang kuasa
Cinta kita di dunia, selamanya.

Cinta kepada hidup,
memberikan senyuman abadi
Walau hidup, kadang tak adil
Tapi cinta lengkapi kita

Laskar pelangi, takkan terikat waktu
Jangan berhenti mewarnai
Ciptaan mimpi di bumi

Menarilah dan terus tertawa
Walau dunia tak seindah syurga
Bersyukurlah pada yang kuasa
Cinta kita di dunia, selamanya




By: Nidji (OST Laskar Pelangi)

48 jam yang tersibuk (Kesinambungan daripada 'Is Life Fair?')

24 April 2009

Petang

Hatiku berkobar-kobar untuk pulang ke Kuching, semuanya telah ku atur. Aku akan bertolak menggunakan bot ekspres pukul 3:15 petang bersama-sama dengan Michelle, satu-satunya rakan yang aku kenal dari Kuching. Pagi itu, Cel menghantar sms kepadaku untuk memaklumkan bahawa dia telahpun membeli tiket bot balik ke Sibu. Penerbanganku keesokan pagi ialah pada pukul 11:30 pagi seperti biasa. Dan aku merencanakan untuk bermalam di rumah Galvin sahaja malam ini, kerana nak ‘save’ bajet untuk tinggal di hotel. Tambahan pula, aku dan Gal sudahpun mempunyai ‘plan’ tersendiri untuk malam itu. Sebotol JD yang masih penuh dan 6 tin beer tengah menunggu di dalam peti sejuk Gal, pikiranku mulai melayang memikirkan betapa enaknya beer sejuk apabila diteguk.

Dalam kesibukan aku menyiapkan kerja terakhirku di dalam pejabat tiba-tiba aku menerima sms dari Cel. Lalu aku memandang jam tanganku yang menunjukkan pukul 2:45 petang. Kami berdua Cel berjanji untuk bertemu di BSN sebelum bertolak ke Sibu. Lalu aku kemaskan mejaku dan bersiap-siap untuk turun dari pejabat. Dalam pada masa itu juga aku menerima faks yang menyatakan ada mesyuarat akan diadakan pada keesokan harinya dan aku harus menghantar wakil untuk menghadiri mesyuarat tersebut. Aku bertanyakan kepada staf aku tentang perkara tersebut lalu aku diberitahu aku tak perlu risau sangat lalu aku pun dengan selambanya turun ke wharf bersama Cel untuk bertolak ke Sibu.

Selang beberapa minit selepas kami bertolak dari wharf, aku menerima panggilan dari bos yang ‘memberus’ku dengan ‘clorox’ dan memberitahuku bahawa aku diwajibkan untuk menghadiri mesyuarat tersebut. Tetapi sebelum itu ada juga perbualannya dengan nada yang ‘lain macam’ membuatkan aku sedikit terkilan. (Sebenarnya kalau nak diceritakan panjang juga part ni, tapi kalau nak diceritakan pun tak berbaloi, yang sudah tu sudahlah.)Dipendek cerita, akupun dengan tidak membantah mengatakan aku akan menghadiri mesyuarat dan membawa pembantuku bersama. Sejurus selepas itu, aku membuat panggilan kepada pembantuku untuk menyediakan dokumen-dokumen yang perlu ke mesyuarat tersebut dan mewajibkan dia untuk datang bersamaku. Emosiku terganggu seketika, aku cuba merehatkan minda cuba bertenang.

Kalau nak dipikirkan sebenarnya rancangkanku untuk balik telahpun rosak dan aku perlu merancang perjalanan aku lagi pada hari itu. Aku memberitahu Cel tentang mesyuarat tersebut yang aku perlu turun lagi ke stesen pada keesokan harinya. Cel memandangku dingin, mungkin dia sendiri pun masih terkejut dengan berita itu. Aku memberitahu Cel yang aku akan turun lagi keesokan hari dengan menggunakan bot yang paling awal dari Sibu iaitu pukul 5:45 pagi. Semasa perjalanan, aku cuba menghabiskan masa perjalanan dalam bot dengan membaca novel yang kubawa sementara Cel pula melelapkan matanya (Pun begitu, hatiku tetap tidak tenteram. Pikiranku masih lagi memikirkan tentang kerja).

Aku menelefon keluargaku untuk meminta menundakan tarikh tiket penerbanganku untuk keesokan hari kerana jadual perjalanan kapal terbangku ‘clash’ dengan masaku untuk mengadakan mesyuarat. Mak yang mengangkat telefon menanyakan “mengapa?” lalu aku menerangkan segalanya. Daripada memberi sokongan moral mak dengan melulu ‘menjatuhkan’ sebutir bom atom seperti yang berlaku di Hiroshima keatasku. Aku tersentap seketika, mak menyuruhku memberitahu bos yang aku telahpun membeli tiket penerbangan untuk keesokan hari dan aku juga disuruh untuk meneruskan sahaja hajatku untuk balik. Aku tegar, dan memang selalu dimarahi oleh mak sejak kecil lagi, aku buat tak endah sahaja amarah dia itu. Tidak lama kemudian, ayah menelefonku untuk bertanyakan perkara yang sama. Malangnya aku diberitahu bahawa aku perlu ke lapangan terbang atau agensi perlancongan terdekat, sekiranya aku ingin membuat penukaran tiket dalam tempoh masa kurang dari 24 jam. Pada masa itu, aku hanya berserah sahaja kalau-kalau aku terpaksa redha dengan melepaskan RM80++ yang aku gunakan untuk membeli tiket penerbangan aku itu. Hanya Tuhan sahaja yang tahu betapa peritnya aku menahan emosiku yang terumbang-umbing pada masa itu.

Walaupun duduk bersebelahan, kami berdua Cel tidak bercakap sehinggalah bot kami singgah di perhentian Song. Selepas membawa beberapa penumpang dari Song, bot bertolak lagi menuju ke destinasi. Pada masa itu, aku meletakkan balik buku novelku ke dalam beg dan Cel pula baru bangun dari tidurnya. Pada waktu itulah juga aku memberitahu kisah babak-babak hidupku dan kerjaku kepada Cel. Bagiku mungkin dia lebih mengerti dengan jurusan psikologi yang ada mungkin dia boleh membantuku. Kami berdialog panjang tentang kisah-kisah hidup yang kami harungi. (Kalau nak diceritakan part ini pun panjang juga, jadi aku pendekkan sahaja ceritanya) Terima kasihlah pada Cel kerana sudi mendengar keluhanku hari itu.

Dua jam lebih kemudian, kami pun sampai di wharf Sibu. Lalu aku menelefon Gal untuk menjemputku dengan lekas. Gal muncul beberapa minit kemudian dan aku berpisah dengan Cel setakat di wharf sahaja kerana Mel akan menjemputnya kemudian. Masuk sahaja ke dalam kereta Gal, aku terus mengarahkannya untuk mencari travel agent terdekat di pasar Sibu. Sambil mencari aku menceritakan Gal segala yang berlaku dari A sampai Z. Dalam pencarian kami kami dapati kebanyakan kedai agensi perlancongan telahpun tutup (mana taknya, jam pun dah menunjukkan pukul 5 petang). Sesampai sahaja ke lokasi ketiga travel agent aku memutuskan untuk berputus asa sahaja. Aku redhakan sahaja duit yang aku gunakan untuk membeli tiket dari Sibu ke Kuching.

Malam

Malam itu aku makan malam bersama-sama dengan Cel, Mel serta beberapa rakan yang lain manakala Gal pula terpaksa menghadiri makan malam yang dijemput oleh seseorang. Habis makan malam Gal menjemputku di restoran dimana aku bersantap dan terus kami menuju balik ke rumah. Sampai sahaja di rumah kami melahap beer dan JD. Kami sempat bersembang-sembang sekejap sehinggalah aku ‘peng’ terbaring diatas tikar yang aku sediakan di ruang tamu. Aku tidak tahu apa yang terjadi selepas itu, yang aku tahu tidak lama selepas itu Gal bangunkan aku dan memberitahuku untuk tidur di bilik tidur. Aku dengan keadaan separa sedar mengheretkan diri ke bilik tidur dan meneruskan aktiviti rehatku malam itu.



25 April, 2009

Pagi

Tepat pukul 4 pagi aku bangun dan mandi lalu Gal menghantarku ke wharf pada pukul 5:15 pagi. Selepas membeli tiket aku terus masuk ke dalam bot dan menyambung aktiviti tidurku. Tiga jam perjalanan aku rasa cukup bagiku untuk merehatkan mataku sekejap. Dalam pada masa itu juga pembantuku juga menaiki bot yang sama dan kami sempat bertegur sapa sekejap. Sepanjang perjalanan aku langsung tidak sedarkan diri sehingga sampai ke destinasi.

Sampai sahaja di stesen aku terus menuju ke pejabat dan kebetulan beberapa orang staf aku tengah bekerja lebih masa. Segala dokumen yang perlu telahpun disediakan oleh stafku yang kuarah kelmarin, aku cuma perlu membawanya sahaja. Pada masa itu, fikiran ku cuma satu, iaitu untuk menghabiskan masa mesyuarat itu sahaja.

Mesyuarat bermula pukul 10:30 pagi dan perbincangan berlangsung selama 2 jam lebih. (part ni boring sikit, jadi tak payahlah nak terangkan). Sejurus selepas mesyuarat aku dan pembantuku terus makan tengahari dan aku memberitahu yang aku akan balik ke Sibu dengan menggunakan bot yang bertolak pukul 1:45 petang. Genap jam tersebut aku pun bertolak balik ke Sibu, bila difikirkan memang kerja gilalah ulang-alik macam ni. Aku sekali lagi meminta Gal untuk menjemputku pada pukul 4:00 petang.

Petang

Semasa dalam perjalanan, aku berfikir sama ada untuk balik menggunakan bas pada hari itu juga ataupun balik menggunakan kapal terbang keesokan harinya. Mak sempat menelefonku semasa dalam perjalanan menanyakan bagaimana aku balik. Dia memberitahuku bahawa ayah tidak kisah untuk menjemputku di terminal bas sekiranya aku balik memakai bas awal petang dan sampai di Kuching tengah malam. Aku memberitahu mak yang aku belum membuat keputusan lagi. Aku tidak dapat mencapai kata putus, lalu aku berfikir ‘whatever’ lah. Kepala otakku malas dah nak berfikir masa itu, jadi aku hanya menantikan sekiranya ada mukjizat yang menimpaku tiba-tiba dan memberikan aku petunjuk.

Sampai sahaja aku di Sibu, Gal menjemputku. Lalu aku dengan selamba memberitahu Gal untuk menuju ke lapangan terbang untuk menanya sekiranya ada tiket pada malam itu. Perbuatan yang spontan itu sedikit mengejutkan aku kerana aku tidak pernah terfikir pun untuk balik menggunakan kapal terbang kerana aku memang hendak menggunakan bas. Mungkin disebabkan hatiku terlalu nekad untuk balik membuatkan aku berkeputusan untuk memakai kapal terbang sahaja. Sebaik sahaja sampai di lapangan terbang, aku disenaraikan di dalam ‘stand-by’ dan diberitahu untuk datang kembali pada pukul 7:45 malam.

Malam

Selepas makan malam dan mandi sekejap, aku dan Gal menuju ke lapangan terbang semula malam itu, untuk menyemak semula sama ada terdapat kekosongan tempat dalam perjalanan balik ke Kuching. Sesampainya aku dan Gal di airport aku terus menuju ke kaunter untuk perlepasan segera. Pegawai bertugas yang ku temui lewat petang tadi mengecam mukaku lalu terus menyapaku dengan panggilan namaku. Aku dimaklumkan bahawa terdapat tempat kosong dan aku menempah terus tiket untuk perlepasan segera. Tepat pukul 8:40 malam aku bertolak dari Sibu, dengan menggunakan maswing. Hatiku berasa lega sekali kerana akhirnya dapat pulang ke Kuching pada hari yang dirancang. Dan aku rasa inilah pertama kali aku merasakan 48 jam masaku yang tersibuk.

Is life fair?

I was on my way back to Sibu to catch my flight tomorrow morning together with Michelle when suddenly I received a call. The person on the other line told me that i am required to attend a meeting tomorrow back at my station. I was speechless for a while, then i thought, " It is just a meeting, I can always go back to Kuching the next day". The worse part of it was the money that i use to buy my ticket would be a waste, plus I had everything planned...

Come to think of it, i was a little bit upset and angry. But a responsibility is a responsibility, so I am going to take the earliest express boat from here tomorrow and buy myself a new ticket on Sunday.

Updating

April 18, 11:34pm

Just finished watching AF on TV and was thinking of writing something on my blog before I’m off to bed. Qhaud is out tonight but I am not surprise because he has been on the bottom list for few weeks in a row. Overall the performance tonight was satisfactory, but I was expecting an extravagant performance from the contestant since they are doing it with a live band accompanied by the original singer. As much I hate to say it, Isma did a very good performance tonight. Her lively performance makes her look like she is part of the group band, except that her stage appearance was lacking of energy. I think the best stage appearance is Aril, where he is able to draw the crowd’s attention. Of the entire concerts from Hafiz, this is the one that I think he didn’t really put up to his best. Just like the judges said, perhaps he is “too cute” for this type of song that he can’t pull it off with his character. Similarly, Claudia’s performance was not up to my expectation. The only thing that she never fail to amaze me is her showmanship, which is very good.

Okay, enough of AF, I was never a big fan of AF until now. But what choice do I have when all my cousins enjoy watching them. I do not have the mandate to hold the remote control and they outnumbered me so I better keep my mouth shut.

To date, this is my forth month in Kapit and I have been coping up well with the environment. The night here is quiet and peaceful; except that there are vast number of cicadas here which would annoys you every time you were in the middle of doing something under the light. Very often I would find them trapped in the toilet in the morning and that disrupt my appetite of doing my early morning business. Other than that, I enjoy the sightseeing here especially during sunset, where all the green that covers the hill would turn into a breathtaking golden color. If you are lucky enough, you could even see sun rays peeking through the tree branches and leaves or behind the hill and beneath the clouds, just like a luminous halo on an angel’s head I saw on my late grandfather’s painting when I was young.

Yesterday night, I had dinner with Michelle. A friend of a friend I met last year. Our fate has brought us to work to a place far from civilization where she is posted here just a few weeks ago. We had a fantabulous dinner in a not-so-grand-but-just-nice coffee shop along Jalan Selirik just a few miles from where I stay. By the way, she mentioned to me that she is also a blogger which linked to Mel, I better checked her web later.

I haven’t heard so much from my parent and sisters last week. All I know is that big sis might going to have a baby girl. Mum and dad are fine too, and as for lil’ sis, she is still waiting whether she will be admitted to continue her study or not.

Work wise, I'm currently quite busy with 2 major event that is going to be held in conjunction with World Forestry Day. There are few things to follow up next week and a meeting to attend.

P/s:...err...I love m life here....

Out of the blues

My head felt a little bit stuffed, i don't know if it's because I am overslept or it's just in my mind.

The internet connection is very slow today, a pity condition where a workplace should be provided with the best internet connection, unfortunately not for us. Even some of our work have to be halt for a while especially those who are in need of the connection for a direct contact via internet line.

I hardly do my house chores these days, except for laundry. What i meant "house chores" here is doing my room clean up. Back when i was at home, every once in a while I would move the furniture in my room to get a new "Feng Shui".

This year, I am planning to do a major changes to the room, I want to;
- Buy an at least 6 feet multilayer bookshelf because I need a bigger room for my books and novels to fit in.
- Dismantle my bed because dust and unwanted books of all sort are crowding underneath it.
- Paint my room, with a warm and vibrant color.
- Give away my 2 years old desktop together with the table to my little sis because I reckon that my lappy would be more convenience to use, and plus I can save some space in the room.
- Donate some of my old clothes in the closet because I would need a smaller, modest size one to fit in my room.

Apart from that, I couldn't remember when was the last time I hit the pave way for a jog, play the DVD for a TV instructed aerobic, and touch my dumbell for a for all kinds of press.

I need a change

I've been thinking lately that I need a change, a lot of changes:

1) I need a new look, perhaps a new hair cut will do. I miss my rugged style, with all the earings and the one on my eyebrow.

2) I need a new things to do. Routine work make me sick, I must admit that. I need work that can develop my brain, not the one that require you to do the same thing everday.

3) I need to start doing some workout. I think the flabs under my skin are building up, especially the one on my belly. Hurm...

4) I need to laugh more often. So I happen to bought this novel "My Godawful Life" from Sunny McGeary. I found that the book was rather entertaining because some part of the story was funny and laughable.

P/s: I miss my life in Kuching, damn it!

We were broke, but we still had fun!

Last week i had a week break (so-called) in Kuching, in which i had to attend courses held in HQ. It was nice to see some old friends that was attached together back then when we had our training together.

By the way, that's not i want to talk about here. Apart from the courses thingy, i manage to meet the clan almost the whole weeknight. During weekend, we went to our usual hang out place and hit ourselves with a bottle of Vodka Mango. Although our cash spending plummet greatly lately, but we still manage to have fun and enjoy ourselves through the night.

take 5

Work is piling up again,
But this time I just take it one step at the time,
I'm being ++positive++ of what i'm doing,
Being happy :) that i have things to do,
Cherish every moment i have,
Keep on smiling no matter how hard i have to go through the day,
Call mum, dad and my sisters whenever i have time,
Laugh with my friends on the phone,
Sleep (ZZZzzzzz...) whenever there's a time to sleep,
Sing my lungs out when i needed one,
Make fun of people when i have to,
Play with my cute little nephew when he's in the mood,
Text Calvin and talk all the bithcy stuff when i feel bitcy,
Call my lover when i need someone to share all my problems,
And last but not least,
Counting the day pass by when there's a plan to go back to Kuching.

Grateful

I miss this place... ;(

I couldn't recall the last time i went to church for a prayer. All I know is that it was a long, long time ago (1 month plus actually). The reason is that the place where i stay right now, they do not have protestant church here. It was always a routine for me to pray for a thankful everytime when i had my visit to church, and each time I did that, I felt that I am closer to God, love one, relatives and friends regardless their whereabouts.

Dear God, I want to give thanks to;

-My parent and both my sisters; who gave me an endless love, who support me during hard times, who take care of my well-being and who always there for me when i needed them most.

-My friends; Lloyd, Bryan, Leo, Diana, Olivia, Jessica & BF, Galvin and the others for their comfort, help, and for the joy and the laugh they shared with me all through the years.

-My relatives; wherever they may be, for their aid in things that I needed from them all this while.

Grant them a place in your Kingdom and send your Guardian Angel to watch over them, Amen.

Updating

"Break"-ing up

Sorry I was away for quite some time; I know Oli has been waiting for my updated blog so I decided to write one or two sentences. Well, thing hasn’t been great lately, but I keep reminding myself that this is a test that I have to go through.

I realize that I’ve been taking thing too resilient lately, especially on decision making that would affect my future. Looks like this time I really have to make a stern judgment regarding the trail I should take and do. Last few night I had a very “inspirational” discussion with Oli, thanks to her that she has opened up my mind and at least gave me some clue of what’s next.

Back to the future…a recap

You see, I’ve been thinking of taking a long break from my job since early this year. In addition, I haven’t, wait…correction NEVER take a break for more than two weeks since I left UITM and Unimas as a student. My life after study was always revolving around with continuous working days and hours. But I enjoy it as much as I enjoy my study, besides what could be better than receiving your pay at the end of the day.

It was a brief autumn break after completion of my diploma in 2003, when I was called for an interview for the post of Research Assistant. I got the job and worked with UITM research unit for more than 6 months before my admission to Unimas in 2004. Quite frankly that it was a surprise, because I never thought I would be selected as one of the student to further my bachelor degree, after I got pretty bad result on my final semester in UITM the previous year.

So after more than 6 months of working, I further my study in Unimas and at the same time took a part time job as research assistant, just to gain extra income and to cover my study expenses. Even then when I was having 3 months of study break, a lecturer from chemistry department called me up to assist her with her project, and I was again hired to do the job for her. On June 2007 which is my final year in Unimas, I was just finished presenting my project when I was called for an interview for a job that require one year of training. So I went for the interview, underwent training and got myself the job, which is the job that I’m doing now.

Perhaps what drive me to do all those sorts of thing is the enthusiasm and the adrenalin to look for other opportunity to survive on my own, and not to depend too much on others. And now that I realize I have been taking life too serious, too serious that I’ve never take time to break for a while and listen to my own heart.

Oli’s text (Con’t)

I was lying on my bed last night thinking how others are coping up with their work and stuff. Then, Lady D and Oli popped-up in my mind. Lady D and Oli are my best friends ever since I came to Shah Alam to pay a visit to Kevin on Christmas 2003. They are both ex-hotelier to one of the famous hotel in Kuching, and Lady D is now working with Singapore Airline as an air hostess while Oli has been posted to work in Bintulu recently (congrats!). So I decided to text Oli, and ask her point of view on taking a break from work.

Here is some of the interpretation I got from Oli’s text;

“Everything in life is about taking a risk, and decision making is never easy. One has to prepare of what the outcome may be. Do things that make you happy, because you deserve it and never let an obstacle get you on your way. Never feel empathic to your employer, because when you’re gone, they won’t even remember your face. Have faith in God, because believe it He have a better plan for us. Always look forward, and never look back.”

So that was some of the elucidation from my discussion with Oli. I find that it was true indeed, especially the part where you don’t have to feel empathy to your boss. Perhaps all these while I was just worried about getting someone to replace my position, which to be honest is none of my business. The truth is they are the one who should be worried looking for someone to replace me.

Looking forward

I believe most of us often find ourselves lost halfway through our journey, and that was when we seek others for help. I was lost seeking for my inner self before, but now I’ve found what I was looking for. It took me quite a long time to realize though; perhaps all this while the doubt inside of me have discourage me from moving forward, hence I lost confidence to stood up for my own judgment. But not this time, I have faith that everything will be just fine, as long as I’m following the pathway that I’ve planned for.

News from North, and South

Mom had her first fever of the year, was talking with her over the phone just now. Most probable reason for her sickness is infection from little sister because she has just got hers last week. Dad actually has informed me about her situation yesterday, but I didn’t really have the time to call her. She said that she complained about her body ache to dad the day earlier but didn’t suspect that it was a sign of fever. Later that night she had her sore throat so dad took her to clinic.

Big sis is 4 months old pregnant now, called her yesterday and she told me that her belly got a little bigger. She also told me about her craving for food and stuff and we talked about financial spending on food for family. It seems that we have the same problem on the matter since we are contributing our finances on household expenses especially on food. You see, I’m not really a big spender when it comes to grocery shopping. Only at times, I would buy stuff that I really want to have, and the stuff that I bought is enough to cater the whole pack for a week.

But it is unlikely here that sometimes I have to do twice weekly for grocery hunt just to fill the refrigerator and cabinet with food. And occasionally, the food proportion served was too much that the leftover was left on the table waited to be discarded. Big sis told me that if the food allocation is not enough for the whole week, she wouldn’t buy it until the new week started, just to teach them a lesson.

Called Lloyd this morning to ask him about the news from the clan. He said that he had been busy since last week with his traveling and family matters. I was told that he was attending his in-law funeral last weekend. I was surprised with the news and he told me that the incident leads to his death was posted on a local paper. Other than that, he is perfectly fine and said that he might going to pay me a visit sometime on March.

Growing up during hard time

Taking the right path of life isn’t easy as it seems. The complexity of mind usually became port that command, plan and make us act the way we should. Sometimes I wonder if the decision made were just according to the mind alone, or just a mere instinct of the heart. Human, do not build like a robot that only obeys command from a remote control or processor. After all, robots are build by human himself, using the thought that is gifted by God.

Why am I talking all this crap? I found that sometimes when we are trapped in a crossroad of life, where we are forced to make decision that we don’t even like. That really gets to my nerve. People said, ‘list out the pros and cons”, “ask second opinion”. Well, I did that; sometimes listing pages of pages of pros and cons doesn’t help. I’m not being pessimistic but that is the truth about life. Sometimes people that made us make that decision are just being self-centered that they only think of their personal interest. At the end, those who don’t really matters are the one who gets the pay. But have no regret, because I believe all the punishment of his afterlife will be greater than that of what he did to others.

My previous boss used to said, “We are considered mature enough when we have experienced the ups and down of life and the best time to experience that is when you are grown up during the hard times”. That was the last statement he told me before I left his unit. Now I understand what he meant, this is the time where all the hard times that will give a lesson for me to learn. I’m eager to do it, but I’m not that enthusiast about it. Because I know what lies ahead is far more greater than everyone could imagine

Expressing the thought

Can’t believe time is running fast, it’s been almost a month since I came to Kapit. Things been going well lately, work is fine and I wonder where’d my previous boss been. The last time I heard he was having gastric problem so he have to take a sick leave, but he didn’t inform me to take a week leave, it’s none of my concern anyway. 3 weeks of staying also indicates that it has been 3 weeks of being person-in-charge in the office where I work now. It’s funny in such a short time that I’ve been seeing all kind of scenario, office scenario to be exact, that I consider some of them hilarious while some are not.

SOME THINGS TO PONDER, AND A LESSON TO LEARN

Most of the time my job is just giving signature on paper, reporting to the manager besides monitoring the staff. Sound simple? Not as simple as you thought. Facing problems with the customers are common. In rare cases I’ve encountered not so long ago, I have to face the public and the higher authority, which I think a lesson worth to learn. And just a few days ago, on a rainy afternoon when I was doing some of my jobs, one of my staff was banging his fist on the table. I was informed that he was angry over a job that was delegated to him, which he has to redo it. The thing is; he is over a half-century old, about to retire, have kids and wife. Okay…duh…I believe when people gets older, they also get wiser. But in this case, “get dumb-er when you get older”- that is a thing worth to ponder…

BLAME IT ON THE WEATHERMAN

Okay, enough with office drama. The water level in Rejang River has been high since last week. The periodic raining not only has made the situation worse, it was said that some areas were affected by problems such as flood and landslide. I can say that this is the worse monsoon season I’ve been experience in my whole life. Kuching is also no better than Kapit, I was told that it’s been a gloomy days with raining on and off every single day since late December. Because of that, the price of market goods here in Kapit also hiked to as high as RM15-17 for a price of vegetables per kilos. The only option is to buy imported vegetable which is far cheaper.

THE WEEKEND PLAN

Back in Kuching, weekend was filled with shopping and late night outing. In contrary, there were not much of such activities to do here. The town is so small that it only took you less than half an hour visit. Shopping mall? Nope, there are no shopping mall and places to hang out here. The only thing you can do here is try to blend around with the people and make full use of the time to have fun. Owh, did I mention they have Sugarbun here? It’s not one of my favorite fast food restaurant but at least they have fast food restaurant franchise here.

Taking a break

First and foremost, I hope it’s not too late for me to wish a Happy Chinese New Year for those who are celebrating Chinese New Year. May the year of Ox bring prosperity and wealth to all. Last holiday also give me a chance to go back to town (Kuching) to settle some unfinished business. It was a hectic journey, went to Sibu via express boat in the afternoon and stayed at Sibu for a while. After that took a bus to Serian at 1.00am, because there was no more ticket available that was en route to Kuching.

The bus was supposedly depart at 11.00pm but due to a delayed journey from Bintulu, we have to wait for 2 hours before it finally arrive. That was not all of it, just before the bus was about to take off, there was a couple who quarrel with the bus driver demanding that the bus would take them to Kuching…(hello…didn’t they read the sign on the bus that says…Bintulu-Sibu-Tebedu). The event took about 15 minutes before we eventually take off to Serian.

The bus arrived at its destination (Serian) around 6.30 am. Cart’s father (a colleague of mine) fetch us at bus terminal and I had my transit at her house not far from Serian town before she drove me to Kuching and reached home around 9.00am in the morning.

There were not much things to do during the 3 days stay. Well, here is the list of things that I did during that 3 days stay.

Things that I manage to do:

• spending time with family
• meet Bryan and Leo
• hang out on Chinese new year eve at airport with friends

Things I didn’t manage to do:

• Meeting Loid and some people I consider needed to meet
• Open house visiting with old friends just like we used to do
• Go on shopping and spending few dime on clothes

Later that Tuesday, left Kuching at 5.00 am in the morning with my Atos and pick Cartrina up at mile 29th Serian road. The journey took us around 6 hours to reach Sibu, unfortunately we couldn’t catch up the express boat because we were late. So we spend the night at the nearest hotel and left Sibu as early as 5.45am and manage to reach office at 9.00 am.