Updating

April 18, 11:34pm

Just finished watching AF on TV and was thinking of writing something on my blog before I’m off to bed. Qhaud is out tonight but I am not surprise because he has been on the bottom list for few weeks in a row. Overall the performance tonight was satisfactory, but I was expecting an extravagant performance from the contestant since they are doing it with a live band accompanied by the original singer. As much I hate to say it, Isma did a very good performance tonight. Her lively performance makes her look like she is part of the group band, except that her stage appearance was lacking of energy. I think the best stage appearance is Aril, where he is able to draw the crowd’s attention. Of the entire concerts from Hafiz, this is the one that I think he didn’t really put up to his best. Just like the judges said, perhaps he is “too cute” for this type of song that he can’t pull it off with his character. Similarly, Claudia’s performance was not up to my expectation. The only thing that she never fail to amaze me is her showmanship, which is very good.

Okay, enough of AF, I was never a big fan of AF until now. But what choice do I have when all my cousins enjoy watching them. I do not have the mandate to hold the remote control and they outnumbered me so I better keep my mouth shut.

To date, this is my forth month in Kapit and I have been coping up well with the environment. The night here is quiet and peaceful; except that there are vast number of cicadas here which would annoys you every time you were in the middle of doing something under the light. Very often I would find them trapped in the toilet in the morning and that disrupt my appetite of doing my early morning business. Other than that, I enjoy the sightseeing here especially during sunset, where all the green that covers the hill would turn into a breathtaking golden color. If you are lucky enough, you could even see sun rays peeking through the tree branches and leaves or behind the hill and beneath the clouds, just like a luminous halo on an angel’s head I saw on my late grandfather’s painting when I was young.

Yesterday night, I had dinner with Michelle. A friend of a friend I met last year. Our fate has brought us to work to a place far from civilization where she is posted here just a few weeks ago. We had a fantabulous dinner in a not-so-grand-but-just-nice coffee shop along Jalan Selirik just a few miles from where I stay. By the way, she mentioned to me that she is also a blogger which linked to Mel, I better checked her web later.

I haven’t heard so much from my parent and sisters last week. All I know is that big sis might going to have a baby girl. Mum and dad are fine too, and as for lil’ sis, she is still waiting whether she will be admitted to continue her study or not.

Work wise, I'm currently quite busy with 2 major event that is going to be held in conjunction with World Forestry Day. There are few things to follow up next week and a meeting to attend.

P/s:...err...I love m life here....

Out of the blues

My head felt a little bit stuffed, i don't know if it's because I am overslept or it's just in my mind.

The internet connection is very slow today, a pity condition where a workplace should be provided with the best internet connection, unfortunately not for us. Even some of our work have to be halt for a while especially those who are in need of the connection for a direct contact via internet line.

I hardly do my house chores these days, except for laundry. What i meant "house chores" here is doing my room clean up. Back when i was at home, every once in a while I would move the furniture in my room to get a new "Feng Shui".

This year, I am planning to do a major changes to the room, I want to;
- Buy an at least 6 feet multilayer bookshelf because I need a bigger room for my books and novels to fit in.
- Dismantle my bed because dust and unwanted books of all sort are crowding underneath it.
- Paint my room, with a warm and vibrant color.
- Give away my 2 years old desktop together with the table to my little sis because I reckon that my lappy would be more convenience to use, and plus I can save some space in the room.
- Donate some of my old clothes in the closet because I would need a smaller, modest size one to fit in my room.

Apart from that, I couldn't remember when was the last time I hit the pave way for a jog, play the DVD for a TV instructed aerobic, and touch my dumbell for a for all kinds of press.

I need a change

I've been thinking lately that I need a change, a lot of changes:

1) I need a new look, perhaps a new hair cut will do. I miss my rugged style, with all the earings and the one on my eyebrow.

2) I need a new things to do. Routine work make me sick, I must admit that. I need work that can develop my brain, not the one that require you to do the same thing everday.

3) I need to start doing some workout. I think the flabs under my skin are building up, especially the one on my belly. Hurm...

4) I need to laugh more often. So I happen to bought this novel "My Godawful Life" from Sunny McGeary. I found that the book was rather entertaining because some part of the story was funny and laughable.

P/s: I miss my life in Kuching, damn it!

We were broke, but we still had fun!

Last week i had a week break (so-called) in Kuching, in which i had to attend courses held in HQ. It was nice to see some old friends that was attached together back then when we had our training together.

By the way, that's not i want to talk about here. Apart from the courses thingy, i manage to meet the clan almost the whole weeknight. During weekend, we went to our usual hang out place and hit ourselves with a bottle of Vodka Mango. Although our cash spending plummet greatly lately, but we still manage to have fun and enjoy ourselves through the night.

take 5

Work is piling up again,
But this time I just take it one step at the time,
I'm being ++positive++ of what i'm doing,
Being happy :) that i have things to do,
Cherish every moment i have,
Keep on smiling no matter how hard i have to go through the day,
Call mum, dad and my sisters whenever i have time,
Laugh with my friends on the phone,
Sleep (ZZZzzzzz...) whenever there's a time to sleep,
Sing my lungs out when i needed one,
Make fun of people when i have to,
Play with my cute little nephew when he's in the mood,
Text Calvin and talk all the bithcy stuff when i feel bitcy,
Call my lover when i need someone to share all my problems,
And last but not least,
Counting the day pass by when there's a plan to go back to Kuching.

Grateful

I miss this place... ;(

I couldn't recall the last time i went to church for a prayer. All I know is that it was a long, long time ago (1 month plus actually). The reason is that the place where i stay right now, they do not have protestant church here. It was always a routine for me to pray for a thankful everytime when i had my visit to church, and each time I did that, I felt that I am closer to God, love one, relatives and friends regardless their whereabouts.

Dear God, I want to give thanks to;

-My parent and both my sisters; who gave me an endless love, who support me during hard times, who take care of my well-being and who always there for me when i needed them most.

-My friends; Lloyd, Bryan, Leo, Diana, Olivia, Jessica & BF, Galvin and the others for their comfort, help, and for the joy and the laugh they shared with me all through the years.

-My relatives; wherever they may be, for their aid in things that I needed from them all this while.

Grant them a place in your Kingdom and send your Guardian Angel to watch over them, Amen.

Updating

"Break"-ing up

Sorry I was away for quite some time; I know Oli has been waiting for my updated blog so I decided to write one or two sentences. Well, thing hasn’t been great lately, but I keep reminding myself that this is a test that I have to go through.

I realize that I’ve been taking thing too resilient lately, especially on decision making that would affect my future. Looks like this time I really have to make a stern judgment regarding the trail I should take and do. Last few night I had a very “inspirational” discussion with Oli, thanks to her that she has opened up my mind and at least gave me some clue of what’s next.

Back to the future…a recap

You see, I’ve been thinking of taking a long break from my job since early this year. In addition, I haven’t, wait…correction NEVER take a break for more than two weeks since I left UITM and Unimas as a student. My life after study was always revolving around with continuous working days and hours. But I enjoy it as much as I enjoy my study, besides what could be better than receiving your pay at the end of the day.

It was a brief autumn break after completion of my diploma in 2003, when I was called for an interview for the post of Research Assistant. I got the job and worked with UITM research unit for more than 6 months before my admission to Unimas in 2004. Quite frankly that it was a surprise, because I never thought I would be selected as one of the student to further my bachelor degree, after I got pretty bad result on my final semester in UITM the previous year.

So after more than 6 months of working, I further my study in Unimas and at the same time took a part time job as research assistant, just to gain extra income and to cover my study expenses. Even then when I was having 3 months of study break, a lecturer from chemistry department called me up to assist her with her project, and I was again hired to do the job for her. On June 2007 which is my final year in Unimas, I was just finished presenting my project when I was called for an interview for a job that require one year of training. So I went for the interview, underwent training and got myself the job, which is the job that I’m doing now.

Perhaps what drive me to do all those sorts of thing is the enthusiasm and the adrenalin to look for other opportunity to survive on my own, and not to depend too much on others. And now that I realize I have been taking life too serious, too serious that I’ve never take time to break for a while and listen to my own heart.

Oli’s text (Con’t)

I was lying on my bed last night thinking how others are coping up with their work and stuff. Then, Lady D and Oli popped-up in my mind. Lady D and Oli are my best friends ever since I came to Shah Alam to pay a visit to Kevin on Christmas 2003. They are both ex-hotelier to one of the famous hotel in Kuching, and Lady D is now working with Singapore Airline as an air hostess while Oli has been posted to work in Bintulu recently (congrats!). So I decided to text Oli, and ask her point of view on taking a break from work.

Here is some of the interpretation I got from Oli’s text;

“Everything in life is about taking a risk, and decision making is never easy. One has to prepare of what the outcome may be. Do things that make you happy, because you deserve it and never let an obstacle get you on your way. Never feel empathic to your employer, because when you’re gone, they won’t even remember your face. Have faith in God, because believe it He have a better plan for us. Always look forward, and never look back.”

So that was some of the elucidation from my discussion with Oli. I find that it was true indeed, especially the part where you don’t have to feel empathy to your boss. Perhaps all these while I was just worried about getting someone to replace my position, which to be honest is none of my business. The truth is they are the one who should be worried looking for someone to replace me.

Looking forward

I believe most of us often find ourselves lost halfway through our journey, and that was when we seek others for help. I was lost seeking for my inner self before, but now I’ve found what I was looking for. It took me quite a long time to realize though; perhaps all this while the doubt inside of me have discourage me from moving forward, hence I lost confidence to stood up for my own judgment. But not this time, I have faith that everything will be just fine, as long as I’m following the pathway that I’ve planned for.